Simione Reuben Toelupe

On October 14th, 2011, at 11:31 pm, Simione Reuben Toelupe was born. Alma and I checked in to the hospital the day before at around 11:30 pm. Mom, Alma, and I walked...well, they walked, I wobbled into the ER. The security guard is the first person I see and immediately walks up to me asking if I need any help or need a wheelchair. I tell him we need to go to Labor and Delivery. He suggests I get into the wheelchair. I told him I could walk. He looks at me funny and says, "uh, I think it's a good idea that you use the wheelchair. It's a long walk from here." I get in.

After we check in, a staff member came and wheeled me to L & D. When we arrive, the nurse shows mom and Alma our room and wheels me over to the dreaded scale. DUN, dun, dun.... She gets my weight, and I convince myself the baby weighs 100lbs because that's the only way my weight can be explained. Don't judge me.

After getting settled into my room/bed, an IV is started with my first round of antibiotics. Doctor comes in at some point and decides it's time to get induced. The nurse keeps asking me if I'm feeling any pain, because I'm having contractions. I just tell her I feel a "burning" sensation on my back, but nothing terrible. She smiles and tell me I'm having back contractions. I smile back and say, "grrreat" The contractions weren't terrible at all, they were just uncomfortable. My nurse is amazing. She says, "well, there isn't any sense in you being uncomfortable. Why don't we just get your epidural now?"

The whole epidural process was a weird feeling. When the anasthesiologists inserts the needle into my spine, I feel something. I can't describe it, but I immediately tell her that I can feel it. She tells me to give it a second, it'll pass. It did and man did the drugs help. I was finally able to sleep! that was the best sleep I've had since before I found out I was pregnant!

The induction process to giving birth was such a loooooong time coming. Simione's heart rate kept dropping because of the pitocin. Doctor kept taking me off and then putting me back on the pitocin to see if baby would change. In the middle of all that, he's checking to see if I've dialited. It was really scary hearing the doctor tell us multiple times baby's heart rate keeps dropping with the pitocin and even more scary to see the look on the staff's faces when he heart rate was actually dropping. We were hoping that I would be dialited enough to push during all of this, but no that would be too easy. After what seem to be a lifetime, doctor decides to break my water to help speed up the process. Even after that, I was still not dialiating fast enough. Baby's heart rate continued to drop while on the pitocin and so we decreased the dosage and continued to watch. I FINALLY dialate to 10 cm and was given the okay to push. yay!!!

I'm thinking this is going to go by quickly. At least faster than what we've just been doing, right? OF COURSE NOT! I'm pushing and pushing and pushing and NOTHING. Baby's head is stuck at my cervix and is started to swell. 3 hours into pushing, I'm exhausted and frustrated. Baby is making no progress. He is STILL in the same spot. We decide it's time for a c-section.

The anasthesiologists and I decide to keep my epidural in and use that to numb me up vs. getting a spinal tap. She would just increase my medications. If I could go back to the moment where I said, "yes" I would slap myself in my face. My C-section was so very scary and painful! I could feel the doctor pushing and pulling, but my anasthesiologist would just shoot more drugs into my IV and within a 0.5 seconds the pain would be gone. It was like that during my whole procedure. She really was amazing. Alma was there during my procedure, but truth is I don't really remember him. I just remember the anasthesiologist. She was amazing. Maybe it's because she was the one giving me all the drugs. IDK. ;)

At 11:31 pm, Simione Reuben Toelupe was FINALLY pulled out with a "grabber" (according to Leila). The nurse showed him to me, but I couldn't quite see him through my tears and all the drugs I was on. Alma took baby to another room with the nurses while the docs stuff my insides back in and sew me up. That part seemed to take FOREVER! I could feel the doctor pulling and pushing. It really felt as if he was stepping on my guts! But no worries, my dealer was right there with me, holding my hand with her one hand and pumping me up with drugs with the other. I loved her! haha.

While in the recovery room, Alma comes back out with Simione so I can see him. I was so drugged up, I could barely keep my eyes open. lol. My family came in to see us, but all I could do is mumble some words and fall back asleep. He was finally here. My beautiful baby boy. At least I think was beautiful. I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to focus on him. ;) I can totally understand why people do drugs. lol!

When Alma and I were dating and talking about our future, the subject of children obviously came up. We both knew we wanted children, but had discussed waiting a year before getting pregnant so that we could spend time together and get to know each other better as husband and wife prior to bringing children into the equation. I even went to my doctor's office and requested birth control pills. I didn't actually get them though...

It wasn't too long after we had gotten married, I wanted to have children. Try, a few months later. So much for waiting, huh? I know, we're idiots. haha. I hadn't realized Alma wanted to have children at that time, too. We began talking about having children sooner rather than later. It's not like we were taking measures to stop us from getting pregnant. We weren't actually "trying" to get pregnant, but as soon as we realized we really wanted children, we decided to "try" and get knocked up. ;)

At first, when the pregnancy tests would come up "negative" it didn't really bother me. But after what felt like the millionth test and millions of dollars later (fyi, pregnancy tests are NOT cheap!) I almost dreaded taking those dang tests. Every time I took that test I'd tell myself this was the one. But it wasn't. It got so hard reading "not pregnant" every time.

I tried my best not to cry or let the hurt show on my face, but I couldn't help it. My husband was such a great support. After every "not pregnant" result, he was there to hug me and tell me it will be okay. I forget how difficult it was for him as well.

We took our desires to become parents to the Lord. At first, when I prayed, I felt guilty asking the Lord to become a mom when someone very dear to me wanted the same thing and had not yet received that blessing. In my mind, she deserved to be a mom WAAAAY more than I did. She would be an AMAZING mother. She's already an amazing aunt. :)

But see, the Lord does not work like that. He does not compare one child to another. He loves us all equally. How awesome is that!

We prayed, fasted and went to the temple. We petitioned the Lord with our desires to become parents. With that, we also went to our doctors to talk about what we needed to do to get pregnant, because it wasn't happening as quickly as we thought it would.

Exactly 2 years after Alma and I were sealed for time and all eternity, we saw our little peanut at our very first ultrasound. :) Now we're parents to a beautiful baby boy who I am in lalalalalaLOVE with!

It's not broken! lol

I guess my whoo-haw isn't broken. I'm pregnant! hahaha! Probably not the most lady-like or "motherly" thing to say. Oh well. What can we do? hehe.

Alma and I spent our two year anniversary at the doc's office "meeting" our baby for the first time. It was wierd! We saw her (hehe. i've decided i'm having a girl) little heart fluttering on the monitor. We are 8 weeks pregnant and I gotta say so far, it's been pretty kaea. lol The continous nausea, dry-heaving, and vomiting throughout the day is not cool. Then the huge boobs, okay that's not to bad hehe, but the feeling like someone lit my nipple on fire and the constant throbbing is terrible! Oh and the constant feelings of hunger which for some reason can never be satisfied ,which then leads to more nausea and dry-heaving really wants me to slap my baby. lol
And I am only in my 8th week of pregnancy...Poor, poor Alma. lol

Sometimes I find myself thinking, dang I wish my whoo-haw was broken...lol j/k! I'M HAVING A BABY!!! WHOOOP WHOOP!!!!

Day 6: A hobby I have

I really don't have any hobbies. Is that lame? *shrugs shoulders* I am, however, starting one...

Sewing! I got a sewing maching for Christmas from mi madre (she's so cool) and I JUST opened the box yesterday. I know. Christmas was almost a month ago and I'm just now using my gift! blah,blah,blah...

Anyhow, I took my machine out and even attempted to read the owner's manual. The key word in that sentence is "attempted". It was just too much, so I turned to the next best thing...YOUTUBE.com! HAHA! Gosh, you really do find all kinds of stuff on there. But that's a whole different blog.
So via youtube.com I, Tuituiotoga learned how to thread the needle on my sewing machine AND thread the Bobbin. IDK why it's called a "bobbin" but all I know is that Josh on youtube.com has helped me learn 2 new things about sewing I did not know. Thank you Josh! lol

So here's to me learning a new hobby and hopefully learn how to properly hem up my husband's church pants, so he's not walking around looking like he's wearing his Dad's suit. bahaha.

Day 5: A picture of somewhere you've been to

This is me on our honeymoon in Las Vegas! I know it's old, but it was the first time I had ever been to Vegas and it was awesome! I'm standing in front of the Belagio? It has the most wonderful water display/show ever! If you haven't been, you must definitely go. The lights and the buildings are just so amazing. I definitely plan on returning and this time I am going to see Phantom of the Opera, I don't care how much Alma begs me to go to the sushi restaurant (he did that when we were there, and since we were on our honeymoon I was being 'nice' and opted to go to the sushi bar) instead. The honeymoon is over and I don't care anymore about trying to be 'nice' bahahaha....j/k.

I had a great time there and I would love to go back.

Day 4: 15 songs that represent your life's soundtrack

1. Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground: A dark and awesome song that reminds me of my senior year in h.s. with Tap, JAMMMMMMIN' to this song! It still makes me smile.

2. Troop, All I do is think of you: This song reminds me of my sisters and I when we were living in the good ole Waterfall Apts. :)

3. Art Laboe Dedicated To You: Volume 2. The entire soundtrack reminds me of my sophomore year in h.s. It was by far the BEST year for me. To this day, Bonnie and I still laugh and sometimes cringe at the adventures of our 15 year lives...lol

4. Take the Ribbon from your hair: This is one of many songs that will always remind me of my grams. When I hear this song, I remember when we were living in Long Beach and my mom played this song on the guitar and had me sing it. I did and all the while, Tina sat there with her eyes closed just "feelin" it! Not my singing (lol), but the song. This was her jam! And so many times, I remember her playing the guitar and just SAAAANNNNGING the heck out of this song! :)

5. Fell in love with a one night Stand: Oh, Hawaii how I looove you! lol THIS was MY JAM when Tap and I went to Hawaii! And naturally, I came back home played the heck out of it, made up a dance, and had the girls perform it, regardless of it being a bit inappropriate. lol

6. Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance With Somebody: This song is my all time FAVE feel good dance song! How can you NOT want to dance when you hear this song?!? I remember sitting in primary at Lynwood 2nd ward, next to Noma and the teacher asked us during sharing time what song do we want to sing. Noma leans over and whispers to me: I wanna dance with somebody. :) I giggled. Noma new that I was in love with that song. Even after all these years, I cannot sit still when I hear it.

7. Fiji: LAIE boy. lol I know, I know! You guys are reading this and going, "what?!" No, this song is not on here cuz my husband. Matter of fact, I looooved this song WAAAAY before I even met him! This song is on here because it reminds me of my days at Fautasi and my first ever concert; FIJI. lol I used to jam to this song and I had NO IDEA what Laie was or where it was. Wait. I knew where it was because of the Toa's, but I did not realize how much of a "lifestyle" it was! I just thought people from Laie had alot of school spirit. lol The whole time I thought there was an "H" in Laie, but then Fiji started spelling it and I'm like..."what? where's the 'h'? bahaha...stupid kirl. To this day when I hear this song, I remember going to the Fiji concert with Lili and Ula and when this song came on, seeing Dana Yamauchi skanking across the stage and me thinking, "Uh, is that Dana Yamauchi skanking?" hahahaha!

8. A Child's Prayer: This is the song I would sing in my head whenever I was in need of my Father in Heaven's comfort.

9. Pink: Can't Take me Home Album: This album was on repeat when I was like 18 or 19. The beginning of the end for me...bahahaha.

10. Mariah Careyand Luther Vandross: Endless Love. Oh to fall in love for the first time ever. What an exciting time in a teenager's life. Man, I'm so glad that's over. lol

11. The Eagles: Best of my Love. The night I met Alma, he was playing his guitar and singing all these different songs, but I have to say when he sang this song...I was hooked. :) This is my favorite song he sings. It makes me smile everytime regardless of how sad the lyrics are. lol Man, it goes to show, if the beat is good, the lyrics mean nothing! haha!

12. Natural High by Bloodstone: The lyrics to this song is exactly what Alma and I were going through at the beginning of our relationship. This quickly became, "our song" hehehe. I know, so corny. Yes we have a "song". Whenever I hear this song, I just smile. But I have to admit, I don't listen to the song in it's entirety, because it's so dang long! bahahahaha!

13. Can I have this Dance by Ann Murray: This song has dual meaning to me. First, it is one of the songs Tina would play on the guitar and sing. Because of that and because she was not able to make it to my wedding, Alma and I decided to dance to that song for the first time as eternal companions. It was our way of having her there with us.

14. Paparazzi by Lady Gaga: Christmas day 2010, My awesome family at the O'brien's house, Kareoke machine, Rita and I, Tons and tons of laughter and an extreme amount of labored breathing. bahaha. All caught on tape, thanks to Ebony. Jerk. lol

15. Laundry Mat by Nivea: *singing* you's a lyin cheatin' son of a... This song reminds me of all of us crammed in front of our TV playing tetris. It is one of many of our old tetris jams. :)

Day 3: A habit you wish you didn't have

Being afraid...of success. To dream of something for so long and then to FINALLY be within it's reach, you'd think I'd be happy or excited right? I am or I mean, I do get excited and happy, but that's just it...I'm mostly scared out of my freakin' mind!

More recently, I sit on the opportunity of a lifetime. My dreams since marrying my BFF :) have shifted to include him. Never have I felt like this is what I was meant to do in my whole life, then what I am about to embark on. To know that I am in the right place and WILL reach my goals is pretty scary to me. I don't know why. I'm just gonna blame it on my daddy issues. lol