...

One of the many things I love about Alma is his desire to always improve our lives temporally. He is always thinking of ways we as a new family can increase our self-reliance and create a more secure financial future for our...future. hehe. I love that he has short-term goals and long-term goals. I love that these goals are so realistic for us, and what I really love is seeing him work towards these goals.

I have been blessed with an education that allows me to get a job enabling me to contribute to our home. What's even more wonderful about all that, is I have a husband who has willingly taken on the role as "bread winner" and has allowed me to stay home and work on my housewife skills. :) With this new life I've aquired, I've also aquired something foreign to me...a BUDGET! yikes! It's taken alot of getting used to. I no longer am able to just buy those super cute heels or that super sexy, yet church standard dress :) just cause. Instead I have had to program my brain into "You don't have the money, so keep walking and buy the toilet paper you came to buy and go straight home. Quit wasting gas." mode. LOL. We are in no way poor or in dire (sp?) need of anything. In fact, we are incredibly blessed. It's all the "extras" that are not a priority. After a few tears, mourning my once lively bank account, all is well!

Sometimes I do worry about our finances. Every month I ask Alma the same questions; Did you pay your tithing? Did you pay all the bills? Are we okay? Do you want me to go get a job? Because I can get a job. Do you want me to get a job? And every month, he answers the same; "yes babe. I paid my tithing. I paid all the bills. No, you don't need to get a job. we're fine. No. I'm serious. You don't have to. I know, you can. Thanks."

We are finishing up our application process for one of our "short-term goals". I'm excited to begin. Alma's excited, too but also a bit nervous. I keep telling him everything will be okay. But somedays I sit and wonder why the heck am I not nervous. Is is because I'm more faithful than he? Or is it because I'm not the one filling out all the applications? I don't think I have more faith than Alma. Truth is, IDK. I pray about our future. I pray about our plans. Maybe that's where my confidence comes from? Maybe I'm just SO used to having my Father in Heaven by my side that I've become confident in HIS powers? Is that the same as having faith in Him? Or am I just so blind to my arrogance that I've confused it as faith?

This coming Sunday is fast and testimony meeting. Alma and I talked about fasting. About our need to fast. What we are attempting to embark on we cannot do alone. We will not do alone. We recognize our need to have Him with us. But mostly we recognize how much we LOVE having Him with us.

Every now and then I ask Alma if he's sure this is what he wants to do. I tell him I'll be more than happy to just go get a job and we can have a "normal" life. Of course he says no. There are so many things we want to do with our life and our "short-term goals" are going to help us with our "long-term goals". All of this and I'm thinking about going back to school to FINALLY get my bachelors. Thanks alot Paaga. Thanks for freakin' setting an example for me and now I feel the need to go back. ugh. :) Wish us luck!