Toga's Ramblings

I'm a Samoan girl named Toga. Thanks for that, Dad.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

When Alma and I were dating and talking about our future, the subject of children obviously came up. We both knew we wanted children, but had discussed waiting a year before getting pregnant so that we could spend time together and get to know each other better as husband and wife prior to bringing children into the equation. I even went to my doctor's office and requested birth control pills. I didn't actually get them though...
It wasn't too long after we had gotten married, I wanted to have children. Try, a few months later. So much for waiting, huh? I know, we're idiots. haha. I hadn't realized Alma wanted to have children at that time, too. We began talking about having children sooner rather than later. It's not like we were taking measures to stop us from getting pregnant. We weren't actually "trying" to get pregnant, but as soon as we realized we really wanted children, we decided to "try" and get knocked up. ;)
At first, when the pregnancy tests would come up "negative" it didn't really bother me. But after what felt like the millionth test and millions of dollars later (fyi, pregnancy tests are NOT cheap!) I almost dreaded taking those dang tests. Every time I took that test I'd tell myself this was the one. But it wasn't. It got so hard reading "not pregnant" every time.
I tried my best not to cry or let the hurt show on my face, but I couldn't help it. My husband was such a great support. After every "not pregnant" result, he was there to hug me and tell me it will be okay. I forget how difficult it was for him as well.
We took our desires to become parents to the Lord. At first, when I prayed, I felt guilty asking the Lord to become a mom when someone very dear to me wanted the same thing and had not yet received that blessing. In my mind, she deserved to be a mom WAAAAY more than I did. She would be an AMAZING mother. She's already an amazing aunt. :)
But see, the Lord does not work like that. He does not compare one child to another. He loves us all equally. How awesome is that!
We prayed, fasted and went to the temple. We petitioned the Lord with our desires to become parents. With that, we also went to our doctors to talk about what we needed to do to get pregnant, because it wasn't happening as quickly as we thought it would.
Exactly 2 years after Alma and I were sealed for time and all eternity, we saw our little peanut at our very first ultrasound. :) Now we're parents to a beautiful baby boy who I am in lalalalalaLOVE with!