Toga's Ramblings

I'm a Samoan girl named Toga. Thanks for that, Dad.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

another year...

My birthday was yesterday. I turned 36. 3.6. what.the.heck. I look at myself in the mirror and cannot believe I am almost 40! Where did the time go?! Time has gone by way too fast. I sit back and look at my life and I'm happy. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm happy nonetheless. I feel behind in life.; I have yet to complete my college education. I want more children. I still live with my family. All the things I thought I'd have completed by now are still on my "TO DO" list. I still plan on completing these things, but when I think of how old I am, I get a little discouraged because I'm "old" 
But when I'm not all in my feelings and I sit back and count my blessings, I realize my life is pretty darn awesome; I live in Hawaii, I live with my family who have been so generous to us, I have a beautiful son who is healthy and strong and so very smart, and I have a husband who honors his priesthood, loves and takes care of our family, and so much more...
I am really excited for our life and what my Father in Heaven has in store for us.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

yes, i only have one child...

Last year a sister in the nursery was telling a story about her grandchildren fighting constantly and keeping her on her toes. After she found out I "only have one kid" she told me "Oh, that doesn't count, cause you only get one. You don't know what it's really like" She tried to laugh it off. I, however, did not. I just got up and left. What I really wanted to do was throw the toy boat I had in my hand at her face.
This isn't the first time women have said things to me regarding having "only one child". I've been told things like, "I wish you would have another baby" or "When are you going to have another one?" or "You only have one?" or my fave, "How many kids do you have? Just one? really? Don't you want someone for your son to play with?"
No, I am purposefully hiding my other children in my back pocket because I want Simione to play by himself.
I hate feeling like I'm not a "real" mom because I "only have one" child.  I hate feeling like I have to apologize to these women for not having more children. I feel almost ashamed that I only have one child. ONE perfectly imperfect, full of love, light, and life son. A son who has brought so much joy into my life, who has taught me what love and forgiveness really is. And because I "only have one" I am somehow "don't count" as a mom.
 I should've thrown the toy at that lady and every other lady who says these stupid things to me.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

I love you Steve

Simione and I came back from a last minute trip to the mainland. Aj called me to tell me my Uncle Steve has passed away. I didn't instantly cry or yell out in disbelief like I did with Fiona. Truth is, I listened to what Aj had to say, asked a few questions and hung up the phone. Was I in a state of shock? I don't know. I told Alma what had happened. We get up, say our morning prayers and start our day. I do my usual routine and we talk about Steve. The tears start. The more we talked about Steve, the more my tears flow. Alma tried his best to comfort me. He reminds me of the Plan of Salvation. He reminds me that Steve is now free from pain and his body is made whole again. He is no longer a prisoner to his bed and to his earthly body; I cry harder. The realization that he is no longer tied to his bed and is in fact, running free and happy made me cry more. 
When I think of Steve lots of things come to my mind; "Geees Unco", His giant spoon and his giant bowl, Metal Tonka trucks, Stealing his hat and making him chase us around the house, his dancing, his love of watches/hats/sunglasses/pen/paper/money, Rita and I making him sniff Pepper to see if he would sneeze...he did not. lol 
While my heart aches for my dear Aunty Pela and cousin Rita, my memories of Steve and how he brought happiness to my life will always live on. 
I cannot bring myself to share my feelings about my Aunty and Rita, well, because I don't have the emotional energy to do it. I love them with all my heart and though I mourn for the loss of my family, my heart cannot fully comprehend the pain they are going through. I look at my own sisters and I cannot imagine losing any of them. Maybe in another blog I'll be able to do it, but for now, God Be With You Til We Meet Again my dear, sweet, loving Uncle Steve. 

Monday, November 2, 2015

A year of Firsts...

This year will be a year of "firsts" for me and my little family. Since moving to Hawaii, we've been able to do things here in Laie for the "first" time. We experienced our first New Year's here which was pretty awesome. I only took one pic of us and we're super hashed cuz we were still on WA time lol. I'll try to find that pic and post it later. This past week/weekend we went to our first trunk or treat and celebrated Halloween Laie style which was nothing short of amazing! We purchased Simione a pirate costume in August while we were at Costco because he really wanted one. He wore it for 3 days straight hahaha! As we got closer to Halloween I decided to buy him another costume because I wasn't so sure he would fit the pirate costume because it looked a bit snug on him. Well, he wore it to the primary trunk or treat and it fit just fine. He was so cute!!! My boy gets so excited about going places where there are kids but when he gets there he gets so scared. He won't let go of my hand and it glued to my side. It takes him a while to get adjusted and he'll leave my side. Other times, he'll just stick by my side and won't let me go. I feel so bad for him. When I see him, I see me. The fear and apprehension when walking into a room full of people who stare at you. Even now as an adult, I still struggle with walking in a crowded room. I sure do hope he grows out of this and takes after his "Mr Aloha" dad. lol
Halloween here in Laie is amazeballs!! The entire neighborhood comes out and participates. Our street (Iosepa St.) is the most popular and live street. Our neighbors set up a photo booth to fundraiser for the Elementary school and our neighbors two houses down set up a huge eazy corner and had their music blasting!!! So fun! We have become friends with the Muaina's across the street. (love them) and they were having a get together with good food and a jumpy house for the kids. The houses a few doors down also had their music bumpin with lights. Simione had a blast and so did we! Here are a few pictures from that night.

Along with celebrating our first Halloween here, Alma took us to our first Kahuku HS football game. The boys made it to the playoffs and we HAD to go. :) We didn't have any Kahuku shirts, but we did have red shirts. Alma didn't think it was good enough so we went to the school to purchase our red raider shirts haha! We had so much fun at the game! The vibe there was insane!!!! It is impossible to go to this game and NOT stand up and yell and cheer and sing! I loved every moment of it. I was cheering like I went to Kahuku! lol! It was a great game vs Mililani. We came out on time (I knew we would) 20-7 Kahuku. We going to the ship! What a great night. I can't wait to go to states!

Primary program pictures...

Here are a few pictures from the Primary program...

Sunday, October 25, 2015

primary program 2015 (late post)

This year is Simione's first year participating in the Primary Program. We got his part last month and he learned it right away; "I know my Savior loves me because He gave us animals" Pretty simple. Pretty straight forward. He learned it the same day we received his part and we reviewed it with him often and every week during FHE we went through it with him. We pulled out a chair for him to sit on, made a "Pulpit" and we had a "microphone" for him to speak in to. Alma or I would stand up and introduce the "primary" as if it were the actual program. Simon would sit in his chair smiling and waving at us and then would stand up and say his part. Every week we did that and even during some of our evening prayers. We explained to him each time that we would be sitting in the front where he could see us and we would wave at him and give him the "thumbs up" that way he new we were proud of him. All this so he would be "brave" like Thomas and Percy and mostly so he would feel safe while he was sitting up there.
I took him to the primary practice that was held and he almost didn't say his part. Aunty Teresa (his awesome primary teacher) stood up with him and helped him. He did say it, but I could tell he was startled by the sound of the mic. He didn't know he would be so loud. lol
And true to our word, I sat in the front during his practice and I waved at him and gave him the "thumbs up" while he sat/played up there with his class.
Saturday night, we all went to bed early so we could get good nights rest and wake up refreshed and make it to church on time. My MIL bought Simione a white shirt and tie earlier in the month that I was saving for the program because I didn't want him to stain his shirt. For some reason every time he wears a white shirt to church, it is the Sunday his teacher or the primary give out chocolate. lol
Anyhow, he wore his white shirt from Nana and the tie from Uncle Reuben and Aunty Jacquie. Nana got up early and prepared his Taovala (spelling?).  When we got to church, she put it on him while in the parking lot. We took pictures and we headed in.
My poor sweet son was instantly afraid. lol Alma and I were not surprised. It was ok. We still sat in the front like we said we would. We encouraged him throughout sacrament meeting. He would not go up there. lol He eventually agreed to go up and sit with his class, but he wouldn't stay up there. He would go up for a few mins then come back down. I didn't mind. He eventually stayed up there long enough for his turn to do his part. I went up there because he had been almost in tears asking for "my mommy". I went up to help him and he didn't say he part, I had to say it for him lol. My poor baby was too scared. But it was okay. Alma and I were not upset one bit. We were just happy he went up there and didn't cry hysterically. It's all good my baby boy. He was the only one that didn't say his part. HAHAHAHA. I'll post pictures later. i love you son. There's always next year my love! hahah!!!

Monday, October 12, 2015

PSfit (late post)

In my quest to become physically fit (I'm currently failing... ) I have inadvertantly let my spiritual "fitness" go down the drain. :( Because of this, my attitude and my whole demeanor had become so negative. As mentioned in my previous blog, I was not a happy girl.
I have since making in a point to have prayers in the morning with Simione and read my scriptures EVERYDAY, during waking hours. Not when I'm in bed. Reading in bed has been something I've always done but has not always been beneficial.
This week I've been thinking/praying and preparing myself spiritually and mentally for the upcoming General Conference. I'm really excited to hear the prophet speak as well as our other leaders. So excited!!! I've been thinking about Sami's (cousin) IG name; PSfit. Physically and Spiritually fit. I began thinking of my 100 year quest of trying to get physical fit. I was doing pretty well the first couple weeks and just like every other time, I fell off the wagon. The wagon basically ran me over and I have been left walking the fat, out of breath, over eating road alone. This week I've been trying to get myself back on the wagon. I started thinking of being physically fit but more specifically becoming spiritually fit. Just like always, I start off really great and on top of everything, but something or another happens, and I eventually fall of the spiritual wagon. I hate that!
Living in Laie makes it easier for me to stay on the wagon though. I can see the temple from my front lawn. Here's to me getting pSfit! xoxo

I love to see the temple.

A few weeks ago I blogged about my commitment to attend the temple that week no matter what. Well, I did and I have been going every week since! My inability to fully explain my experience only stems from my lack of vocabulary. I need to go back to school..hehe. (different blog). Anyhow, my temple experience that first night was beyond amazing. My heart was overwhelmed with the Spirit. I could feel His presence. My heart was on fiyah! :-P  Man, I love my Father in Heaven!!!! And oh how He loves me!
I've been going every week since and I do not plan on stopping! xoxo

Monday, September 28, 2015

confusion and delay

Simione loves Thomas the Train. In the cartoon there's the conductor of the entire railway and his name is Sir Topham Hat. He's always talking to the trains scolding them because they've caused "confusion and delay"
This past weekend, the start of General Conference began. We had the General Women's session and it was awesome, as usual. :) I had been praying all week for help as I spiritually and mentally prepare for the conference. I've always had the desire to have more children and this past week, my prayers both at home and at the temple have been for more children.
During conference, there was a video shown of  a sister who had not had an opportunity to have her own children, but she was a Mother. She was surrounded with her nieces and nephews and the primary children she taught at church. She taught them, nurtured them, loved them and cared for them just like a mother would.
Of course, when I'm watching this story, I'm thinking "Uh, is this me?! Is this Heavenly Father telling me that I won't have anymore children?" Truth is, I don't know. I don't know if Heavenly Father is going to bless us with more children. Am I causing confusion and delay? Is my lack of faith and knowledge in my Father's plan for me causing the confusion and delay in my "moving on" from thoughts of having more children of my own? I don't know.
What I do know, is that I need to be patient. As much as I know that sometimes Heavenly Father does not answer prayers right away, it doesn't stop me from wanting an answer now. What I do know is that He answers them. Maybe not today or tomorrow or maybe even next week or next month, but He will. He always does. That is my test, I guess. Having faith in my Father in Heaven. Having faith that He will answer my prayers. Maybe that video was not meant for me. As I'm typing "faith", I think of Pres. Uchtdorf's talk; faith, hope, and love.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

tender mercies

Each day I recognize the tender mercies placed upon me by my Father in Heaven. Yesterday was no different. As you know, I made a commitment to attend the temple this week. No matter what. My plan was to go yesterday/last night when Alma got home from work. I was preparing myself all day; spiritually and physically. Alma texted me saying this Saturday the last session would be at 9a because of the Women's broadcast that afternoon and then closed the following Saturday due to conference. I knew we had discussed me attending a Saturday morning session, but I didn't realize he had already mentally prepared for me to attend at that time. I had been preparing myself to attend today (yesterday). I told him I wanted to go tonight and he was obviously okay with it. yes!
I realized during my "preparation" our youth had practice at the chapel for the upcoming 150 year celebration of the church coming to Laie. A practice I wanted to attend to show my support for the girls and for the presidency. It was at the same time as the temple session. I started to re think my temple attendance and almost decided to forgo my session and go to the practice. Almost. I didn't want to but I could once again feel myself making an excuse as to why I couldn't go to the temple. This time it was to magnify my calling, so that's not bad, right? I text the sisters to let them I wasn't going to attend and slowly but surely each one of them except the president and the 2nd counselor backed out. I was feeling pretty bad about myself, but I still wasn't willing to cancel my temple trip. Shortly after, Alice (YW pres) text and said she just received an email from the stk stating practice is cancelled. hallelujah!!!!
Simione woke up from his nap yesterday with a fever :( All day I have been monitoring his fever, hydrating him, and giving meds as needed. He is still eating and acting the same and that is a HUGE PLUS. Alma gave him a blessing before he left to work and instantly my fears were washed away. When it came time for me to leave for my session, Simione's fever was still present, but low. Alma was there taking care of him and so I felt just fine going.
What a wonderful session I had!!!! God lives! He loves us! Jesus Christ is truly our Savior. The love they have for me overwhelms me. My heart is full.
When I think back about my day, I am so grateful for all His tender mercies leading me to His house to do His work and to feel His presence so much more. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. I know He lives. I know He loves me. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for His atonement. I know that families can be together forever if we keep His commandments and keep the covenants we make with Him in His house and each week when we partake of the sacrament. Hallelujah! ;)

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

I've got a new attitude...or at least I'm working on it.

I've been struggling with my attitude about living in Hawaii these past few months. Sad to say, but this "paradise" is not really "paradise" to me. All I can see are the negative parts of living out here; HOT, because of the heat, I've got this permanent sweat stache (totes sexy...not), the mosquitos, flies, roaches, ants, gnats, centipedes, millipedes, and any other disgusting, annoying creepy crawling thing, everything is at least 45 min drive away, my family is not here...
That was just my list for ONE day. sheesh! No wonder I am unhappy! My attitude STINKS!
My favorite part of the day is going to bed knowing the day is over. I am basically just living out here and trying to get it over with until February when we get to go home for a visit. That's just my short term goal. My long term goal is basically the same; get each day over with until Alma graduates from college. My attitude is going to be the death of me.
I'm not so sure I want to live out here anymore. I'm definitely not sure I want to live in Hawaii forever. Alma is on a completely different page. He's set. For him, this is it. He has ZERO desire to move back to the mainland. ZERO. Truth is, that makes me nervous and sad. i"m hoping with all my heart one of two things happen: 1. We have more children and my sadness for my son being without friends will dissipate/or he makes friends  OR 2. Heavenly Father sends us back to WA because that's where he wants us to live.  Well really I have way more than 2 things on my "I hope" list, but these 2 will be fine.
After having Simione, I never pictured our lives without my family in WA. I never pictured Simione growing up without his cousins. I miss them. I miss the noise. I miss the laughter. I even miss the tears and the constant fighting. I don't want to live with mom anymore. I want to move back to WA and have out own house and still be able to see the kids everyday.
I was recently called to the YW as the Beehive advisor. Super excited. Last night I went to the volleyball homecoming game at the HS to support a few of our YW that were playing. Kahau and I went together. Alice came after work. I'm really glad I went. Kehau and I have a goal to go to the girls' games whenever and as often as we can to support them. We want to magnify our callings as best we can. I'm really glad we went. I was reminded why people love living in Laie and why those who leave the island always want to come back. The amount of support and school/community spirit these people have is amazing. People young and old wearing KHS shirts chanting and screaming for their team, holding hands and singing with pride their school alma mater. It's insane! I don't even know my own HS alma mater. I asked Alma if they learned the song in choir or if it's specifically taught in a class as school. He says no. They just grew up hearing it and eventually caught on.
Sitting in the hot as heck gym, packed into the bleachers like a can of sardines, drenched in sweat, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe living out here isn't too bad.
That was just last night. Let's see how it goes today. Wish me and my attitude good luck ;)

Monday, September 21, 2015


What a difference today has been! All because I decided to pray in the morning and read my scriptures. I'm also convinced it's because I flat ironed my hair yesterday and I also feel pretty because of it. lol
Son and I went to the Kahuku library this afternoon for about an hour so he can play. It was really nice. He played with the puzzles and blocks while I relaxed and tried to read up on my personal progress book. Sis. Ava asked me to take over the YW personal progress portion since they do not have anyone called for it yet. Why not, right? I'm excited for it. I hope I don't drop the ball. hehe.
Kehau and I, along with Simione will be going to the volleyball game tonight at the high school to support a few of our YW who are playing. We came home early from the library so I can fix dinner before we leave for the game. Supo moa and ulu is what's for dinner. yummy!!!
I"m feeling a big up beat today. Nothing extraordinary has happened, but I feel good. I'm positive it's because of my prayer and scripture reading today. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I not stay the course when I know it works?! smh. Anyhow, I'm on it, I'm going to try my hardest to stay on it this time.
This morning Simione asked me if it was February yet. lol He knows we're going home in Feb for Max's baptism. I don't know who's more excited, him or me. haha. I'm secretly hoping our days at the library will turn into meeting someone son's age and they'll play together and become friends. I guess that's what all moms wish for their kids, right? To have friends. One thing at a time, Toga. It'll happen.
I've gotta get back on my exercising. These days I'm feeling more and more like a busted can of biscuits...mmmm...biscuits. hahaha.
Tomorrow I think we'll go back to the library, but a bit earlier and maybe afterwards make our way to the bike path. We'll see.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

stay the course...

As long as I've been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I am STILL amazed when I attend my church meetings and the lesson or talk is speaking directly to me. I LOVE IT!
Today's sabbath day started off peacefully for me. Sacrament meeting starts at 8a and usually every Sunday we're rushing out the door because we're late. I'm never really satisfied with how I look because I decided sleeping in was more important that waking up early enough to fix the bush on my head. Not today people. Not.
Last night I spent reading my lesson and hanging out with my boys. I gave Simione a shower, he brushed his teeth, we said family prayer and put him to bed. Daddy watched the Kahuku vs. Miliani football game while I continued with my lesson prep. I set my alarm for 5a because I was going to fix my hair today.  lol.  Surprisingly, I woke up 10 mins before my alarm went off! I got up, got myself ready and at 7a I woke my boys up. My morning prep was nice and peaceful. I kept singing the primary song, "Teach Me to Walk in The Light" and "Do You Know Who You Are?".  We made it to church just as Bishop finished announcing the opening song/opening prayer.
It really does make a difference for my day, especially my sabbath day when I prepare the night before. The difference I felt today from all other Sundays is huge!
The sacrament program was nothing short of amazing. I was reminded of what I need to do to remain in "The Light" Thank you YW presidency for strengthening my testimony of my Savior. Thank you for reminding me and encouraging me to stay the course.
I made a commitment today that I will keep the sabbath day holy. I was not perfect. But I got back up and I'm trying again.
During my scripture reading today, I came across Mosiah 5:13, "For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?"
I thought to myself, yes! Toga! How can you feel close to the Savior and the Lord, if you aren't serving Him? If you aren't participating in His Gospel?!? I really do LOVE when scriptures set off the lightbulb in my head :)
Here's to me staying the course and strengthen my relationship with my Father in Heaven! xo

Saturday, September 19, 2015

weak foundation

I've been struggling with maintaining my spiritual strength. I was doing so good at one point; daily scripture reading and prayers, keeping the sabbath day holy and making them more spiritually infused, positive thinking. These days, I'm struggling to do all of these things. My family has been doing pretty good with our weekly FHE. I'm happy about that. We do say our nightly family prayers, but my heart and mind struggle to stay at peace and focused on the Spirit. The temple is so close to my home. I can see it from the house. I've gone to the temple 2x's since moving here in April. Everyday I struggle with my attitude towards my son, my husband and living here in Laie.  I even struggle reading anything spiritual. I have to force my eyes and my mind to focus on reading the words. :(
Last night a blog caught my eye on FB titled, What to do if you are feeling separated from God. Or something like that. That's how I've been feeling. I feel distant from God. I know He is here. He is waiting for me to grab His hand. Anyhow, quickly read through the blog to get to the part where the writer speaks directly to the Adults. Of course, the first thing on the writer's list is Go to the temple.
A lightbulb did not go off, but more of a "duh" moment. Toga, take your behind to the temple.
This afternoon two sister missionaries knocked on our door. They were going around the area meeting the families in their ward. I invite these sweet sisters in and we begin with small talk; where are you from, what brought you to HI, blah, blah, blah. I tell the sisters I go the Samoan Ward in Hauula. They looked a bit bummed but were still happy I go to church haha.
Before they leave, they asked if they could share a spiritual thought. I, of course, say yes. Helaman 5:12. I recognize the scripture before they even read it.
"And now, my sons, remember, remember that is is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall"
The sisters ask me what have done or am doing in my personal life to strengthen my "foundation". Instant tears. My foundation is weak. There are cracks in it. It's barely holding me up. I know what I need to do to strengthen my foundation. To fill in the cracks. These are the very things that I have been struggling with lately.
The sisters asked me what I will commit myself to doing this week to help strengthen my foundation...
This week I am committing to attending the temple. No matter what. I will not give in to the adversary. I will reach out and take my Heavenly Father's hand. Thank you for today. Thank you Father for sending these sisters to remind me that you are ALWAYS near.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

baby fever

I want another baby. I want Simione to have a sibling; boy or girl. Doesn't matter. Alma and I have been trying to get pregnant for what seems like forever, without any success...obviously. I'm working on my fitness, hoping that is the only thing holding me from getting pregnant. My heart still sinks a little each month, when the crimson tide rolls in (lol) because it means I am not pregnant...again.
Any changes with my menstrual period, I used to get excited, thinking, hey maybe I'm pregnant, but my gut always tells me different and it's always right. boo!
So I wait. I exercise, eat right, and stock up on pads. My time. Our time, will come. He will bless us again with another child. Simone will have a sibling. Toga and Alma will have another child to raise. We will be okay. How do I know? My whole life is full of proof that my Heavenly Father is mindful of me and answers prayers. How can I NOT know?

friends. How many of us have them?

I wish with all my heart, Simione had someone to play with on a daily basis. My boy loves to play with other kids, but our street has zero kids. Actually, our street has plenty kids but they aren't outside playing. I would randomly see them playing at their front doors when I walk/drive by and I wonder, where the heck did you guys come from? Where have you guys been? Simone would be happy to play with you guys!
Our neighbor across the street has a children and a son his age, but she doesn't let them come outside to play very often because the street is too busy with cars, so they play inside or in their backyard mostly. I don't blame her. I do the same. Our neighbor two houses down also has a son same age as Simione, but they were moving to town and truth is, I haven't seen these ladies and their kids since that ONE day we happen to all be outside playing. My heart skipped a beat, when I saw the kids that day. Alma and I were so excited, he immediately called them over to come see Simione's pet mo'o and then that was it! They played together for the next hour or so. It was nice. Alma, of course, knew the parents, I introduced myself and it was good. Should I have gone over the next day or days and taken Simione to play with them? I feel like I missed the boat for my son. The friendship boat. :(
What's hard is I'm not close to being a social/friend making person. I don't mind being alone. Doing stuff alone. But I'm afraid this type of person I am, has made it increasingly difficult for my own son to make friends. I'm thankful Alma is here. I'm thankful he is NOT like me. In fact, he is the complete opposite. He likes to socialize. He prefers it. I don't. Sometimes I'll be game to going out and socializing, but mostly I prefer to stay home and watch TV. I know, it's lame.
I just had this whole thing pictured in my mind. We would move out to Laie. I would get a calling in church and meet people, Simione would get into headstart and make new friends...blah,blah,blah...
Well, I just got a calling. In fact, it was this past Tuesday I met with the Bishop and I'm getting sustained Sunday. I still don't really know anyone at church. Simone did not qualify for pre school at Laie Elementary (we made too much money last year) and that is the only way he would get accepted. It's a low income program and we cannot afford the other preschool in Hauula, even though he got accepted, and so he has zero friends.
Maybe this is an opportunity for Simione and I to cultivate our relationship? The longer I stay with him, the more I appreciate him and find myself loving him more and more which I did not think it was possible for me to love this boy any more than I already do. He makes my heart smile. Regarding my calling, I just figured the Lord was still prepping me for whatever calling He wanted to give me.
I do have friends, who are my family. They live down the street. They are amazing women and I love hanging out with them. Mostly we just workout together in silence, because none of us can talk/breathe while working out. lol I need to work on my relationship with them. They are the ones I can see myself hanging out with often and learning from and getting close with. Simone will/can make friends whenever he wants. He goes to church. He's still getting used to primary, but he'll get there. As I type this, I am realizing that we are going to be okay. My son is going to be okay. I still can't help but miss my home and my family. Especially the kids. I never had to worry about Simione not having anyone to play with. *sigh* I guess we all have to step out of our comfort zone at some point, right?