Toga's Ramblings

I'm a Samoan girl named Toga. Thanks for that, Dad.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


So my life these days have been revolving around work, church, and this wedding. Mostly I feel like it's work and this wedding. Probably because I didn't go to church this past Sunday and so my week has been really, really long. Work is beginning to get a big tedious. Only because I know my days are numbered. My last official day is next week Friday. At the time Alma and I were planning when I should submit my two weeks, it was a good idea. But today...I just want to punch Alma in his face. ( not mine, because I can't have a black eye on my wedding day. It's bad for pictures. lol) I have to say a million extra prayers just to keep me going. Every morning this week, I have to literally say to myself, "You're almost done. Just get today over with. Get up." So I roll myself out of the couch, (Yes, i said "couch" I don't have my own room. Or my own bed. Never really have. And I'm okay with that.) walk up the stairs, handle my morning bizz, get out to my car and realize the windshield has ice on it. So I go back inside, fill up our glass water pitcher, (we're a fancy family. No plastic pitchers here. lol) go outside throw the water on my windshield. Get in my car, say my prayer, and I'm on my way. This, is my morning routine. Of course in between all this, I look at my watch and realize I'm late. Again. Oh, and I forgot to put deoderant on. ugh. But the week is FINALLY coming to an end. Tomorrow is Friday! yay! Too bad I have to start all this madness up again on Monday. Freakin' Alma and his plans. lol. It's still good to be me...

Sunday, February 22, 2009

i love to see the temple...

I've been trying to come up with the words to describe my endowment experience. And I have yet to come up with it. hehe. I know that I will return to the temple often. I know that when I was there I did not want to leave. I know that my heart felt like it was going to explode from the love that I felt there. I know that when I think of how I felt in the temple, I STILL cry.
When I was in there and trying to stay in tune with the Spirit, I started to doubt myself. I still felt unworthy to be there. So close to God. But I told myself, "no. You are worthy. You are doing this. You have waited so long. Too long. It is time. He has been waiting. He loves you. You love Him." I belong in the temple. Do I feel any different? I don't know. I feel more aware. What that means, IDK. I know that I look forward to going back and learning and growing and helping my brothers and sisters who have been waiting for me to do their work. I love, love, love this Gospel.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I can't believe it's here!

I am so excited about tomorrow! yay! Paaga asked if I was nervous to go to the temple. I told her, "No, I'm excited. I'm ready." I still feel like that. I have been trying my hardest to focus on the Savior and really try to feel His presence. One day this past week, I just could not stop crying! Not out of sadness, but out of realization. I was realizing that He really DOES love me and I really AM blessed and that I will soon be able to go into His house and be the closest I can to Him while here on this earth. I have been trying to think of what it's going to be like. Tomorrow is the big day and it's still al so surreal. I just can't help but tear up when I think of how wonderful tomorrow is going to be. It's so good to be me...

Sunday, February 15, 2009

looking forward to good things...

Today was another great Sunday for me. I made it Sacrament meeting only 5 minutes late! nice. It was a good sacrament meeting, but my Sunday School class is what really touched my heart today. I teach Sunday School for the 14-15 years old and our lesson was on "The First Principles of the Ordinances of the Gospel" I have to admit, I didn't read the lesson until this morning and during sacrament meeting. I know. Not good. But I just want to testify of the power of the Holy Ghost. We opened the lesson talking about Faith. We spent the majority of the class time discussing what faith is, how we can strengthen our faith, and the importance of having faith in Jesus Christ. During the lesson, I was able to share my testimony of faith and I really felt the spirit of our Heavenly Father. It was just another testament to me personally of how real He is. Every Sunday I teach these teenagers and we talk about Joseph Smith (We're studying the D&C this year), I am reminded that the prophet was these guy's age when he saw God the Father and Jesus Christ, and I am just so amazed at the Faith that young man had. And I am reminded of how much more I need to do to strengthen my own faith. And to top this wonderful Sunday off, I had my last interview with the Stk. President and got my temple recommend!!! yay!!!
I tear up every time I think of how I am going to have the wonderful opportunity to go into the Lord's house and receive my endowments. It has been such a long and trying road for me. I am so happy that I am finally here. I look forward to going to the temple. I look forward to being the closest I can be to my Father in Heaven while here on earth, and I look forward to being sealed to Alma for all of eternity. Oh how wonderful it is to be me!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

figure it out...

so today is valentine's day and also the day the last payment for the reception hall is due. I woke up early today knowing that my number one priority is to make that payment and get that taken care of. So I get up, get ready, get in my car, say a prayer, and go on my way. I get to the place and of course, the lady is not there. I start to panic a little, but I remind myself to breathe and calm down, everything will be okay. I ask the man across the way when "Kim" (names have been change to protect her privacy, although I really shouldn't care about her privacy since she 'bout messed up my wedding...whatever.) was going to be in. He told me this afternoon cause she takes the bus in and blah, blah,blah...I explain to him my situation and he kindly offers to take my check and "make sure Kim gets it" My thoughts, "get real, dude." My answer, "Oh, no thank you. I need a receipt and would really prefer to hand her the check myself. Thank you for the offer." He kindly directs me to the general manager where I made the last payment, got my receipt, and was informed that Kim wanted to talk to me about some chilli cook off going on the same day as my reception. On my way out, I see "Kim" and I get her attention. I tell her, "Guy" has the check and asked her about this chilli cook off. She then goes to tell me that my wedding was double booked that day and if I want to move my reception downstairs. So I agree to take a look downstairs and it was really, really, UGLY!!! I think I was in a daze, because all I said was, "I'll call you this afternoon" and I walked out.
I call Paaga and I tell her what happened. Then I go and sit in my car and let everything soak in. Just as it hit me, "Kim" calls me. And I asked her what happens if I don't want to move downstairs, this woman had the nerve to say, "Well, we'll refund your money." I told her, "no. You wait until a month before my wedding to tell me this?!?" She said she was gonna call the other people and try to fix this. I told her she needs to figure it out. I will be back this afternoon and she better have something. And then she says a bunch of other blah,blah,blahs that I don't care about and i still told her to FIGURE IT OUT along with a bunch of other words and including Paaga's threats for our lawyers to contact her, needless to say she FIGURED IT OUT and once again all is well. hehe.

Saturday, February 7, 2009


So today was our day to FINALLY finish the invitations and of course, we didn't. ugh. It's been such a tiring process and at times, a tearful process. I am so grateful for sisters who have been so helpful and so determined to have a wonderful wedding. They have been so dilligent with all this wedding planning. I LOVE them! Of course, there's Alma. God has blessed me with such a wonderful man. He has been so patient with me, and tries his hardest to keep me sane. Some days are better than others. hehe.
I still can't believe we're getting married. I still can't believe it's NEXT month! I'm still waiting for Alma to tell me he changed his mind, that he had a momentary lapse in judgement when he asked to me to be his wife. lol.