I've been struggling with maintaining my spiritual strength. I was doing so good at one point; daily scripture reading and prayers, keeping the sabbath day holy and making them more spiritually infused, positive thinking. These days, I'm struggling to do all of these things. My family has been doing pretty good with our weekly FHE. I'm happy about that. We do say our nightly family prayers, but my heart and mind struggle to stay at peace and focused on the Spirit. The temple is so close to my home. I can see it from the house. I've gone to the temple 2x's since moving here in April. Everyday I struggle with my attitude towards my son, my husband and living here in Laie. I even struggle reading anything spiritual. I have to force my eyes and my mind to focus on reading the words. :(
Last night a blog caught my eye on FB titled, What to do if you are feeling separated from God. Or something like that. That's how I've been feeling. I feel distant from God. I know He is here. He is waiting for me to grab His hand. Anyhow, quickly read through the blog to get to the part where the writer speaks directly to the Adults. Of course, the first thing on the writer's list is Go to the temple.
A lightbulb did not go off, but more of a "duh" moment. Toga, take your behind to the temple.
This afternoon two sister missionaries knocked on our door. They were going around the area meeting the families in their ward. I invite these sweet sisters in and we begin with small talk; where are you from, what brought you to HI, blah, blah, blah. I tell the sisters I go the Samoan Ward in Hauula. They looked a bit bummed but were still happy I go to church haha.
Before they leave, they asked if they could share a spiritual thought. I, of course, say yes. Helaman 5:12. I recognize the scripture before they even read it.
"And now, my sons, remember, remember that is is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall"
The sisters ask me what have done or am doing in my personal life to strengthen my "foundation". Instant tears. My foundation is weak. There are cracks in it. It's barely holding me up. I know what I need to do to strengthen my foundation. To fill in the cracks. These are the very things that I have been struggling with lately.
The sisters asked me what I will commit myself to doing this week to help strengthen my foundation...
This week I am committing to attending the temple. No matter what. I will not give in to the adversary. I will reach out and take my Heavenly Father's hand. Thank you for today. Thank you Father for sending these sisters to remind me that you are ALWAYS near.
we all have cracks in our foundations, some only have bits and pieces of ruins left. the important thing is to continue to stand firm, pick yourself up after each fall and like you said, fill in the cracks or if needs be, rebuild altogether. u remember that blow up toy that dino got us when we were young where you punch it and it would go down but pop right back up? that's how i picture myself sometimes. sometimes it takes a little longer to get back up but the point is that we GET BACK UP and never give up. love you! i know you'll pop back up.
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